The first guy I ever kissed taught me how to kiss for the first time. It’s been a long time since that first kiss. He was first of many things, actually – first kiss, first oral (both me on him and him on me), first really heavy serious petting make-out session.
And my first outdoor sexual experience. There are lots of memories there, all spanned over the period of about a year and a half, and I haven’t thought of them for quite some time.
He was a family friend. Or rather, his mum and my aunt were best friends, so whenever we went from our city to theirs (as we did a few times a year) to visit, we’d end up hanging out. He was a few years older than me, and I recall my mother saying to someone (my aunt? my dad?) and me overhearing, that the age difference made no difference, as emotionally we were in about the same place anyhow.
The Day of My First Kiss
I was hanging out in the front part of the house, reading old National Geographic magazines while I was sprawled out on the carpet, enjoying the sunshine coming in through the windows. It was late Spring, I think. I don’t really remember the details – how he came in, or how we got from conversation to kissing. But I liked it. I really liked it.
Come to think of it, I think he’d probably had some practice. He certainly didn’t suck.
What I do remember, clearly, is being called to lunch. And how, partway through lunch I got a bloody nose (how embarrassing). Turns out, as I discovered much later, than strong emotional release can set that off for me. Who knew?
I remember a lot about that boy. The freckles across his nose, the look in his eye when he suggested having a spa (a three-hour spa, that was. With, eventually, no swimsuits. And a lot of hands, and tongues, and general writhing. And the smell of chlorine made my knickers wet for about three years afterwards). I remember watching him play hockey and cricket with my cousins while I sat in the shade and read my books. I still remember the date of his birthday.
He’s changed a lot (as have I, naturally). Interestingly, the man he’s grown into has many of the same attractive qualities that I adore – and he works in IT, as do they all. Me and geeks? Yep!
Physically, he’s no longer the slim athletic boy he was, and looks disturbingly like his father now – but I remember him as he once was. I don’t know him now.
I do know that I don’t lust for him the way I did. The boy who kissed that girl is long gone, as is that girl. Still, I learned from him just how hot kissing can be, how oral sex can go both ways, and that getting naked outdoors can be a whole lot of fun.
Mostly, I remember him with fondness, which is more than I can say for the first three guys I slept with (I can’t even remember their last names, to my dismay). I can only hope that he remembers me the same way.
Given that he friended me, I hope that he does. I wonder if he reads sex blogs?
How To Kiss For The First Time
But there are other ways for a kiss to be first. Sometimes, when events go well and energies click, you get to have a new kiss experience. A first kiss can be a memory of flesh and emotion combined together.
Before that, though, there’s the dance. Do you like me? Do I like you? Are we both wanting to do this thing? Sometimes it’s a subtle dance of glance and smile and head-tilt and lip bite.
More often (in my case, for sure) it’s the blunter two-step, coming after an overture of long hugs, conversation, shared jokes and little touches upon shoulder or waist. “I like you.” “I like you too.” “I’d like to kiss you.” “Okay, then!” Or words to that effect. A desire to dance. But what is the rhythm we should move to?
Leaning closer together, there’s the newness of it all. This is a new mouth on a new face. Which way will their head tilt? Where should I put mine? And then lips are touching, tongues are pressing together – and teeth are clacking, a metaphorical stepping-on of feet.
How wide open should my mouth be? Will they enjoy that I’m aggressive with my tongue, pushing it into their space rather than waiting for them to come to me? Every new relationship will have a first kiss story. So don’t let these questions bother you and don’t try to practice or learn how to kiss for the first time.
Just let it come naturally and simply love yourself – he will too!