I love having sex – I think we all know that by now! And I’m a bit of an exhibitionist, too. Add those together, and outdoor sex is one of those things I really enjoy, even if I don’t do it often. One of those things about outdoor sex, though, is that the potential for amazingness – and disaster – is often increased…
Let’s get the (hilarious in retrospect) disasters out of the way first, shall we? It turns out golf courses use sprinklers – and they turn on about dusk, drenching the hapless couple getting it on nearby. Who knew? Then there’s bamboo. The otherwise excellently concealed piece of parkland where I chose to fling my virginity away – yes, really – had small shoots growing. Right where the small of my back was. Didn’t matter how I repositioned myself, it always ended up just there. It was a toss-up what was less fun, that day. And then there was the day-trip to Picton where rampant horniness got the better of us, and so we put a towel down in the bush by the ferry terminal and went for it. Apparently other people had the same idea, and managed to – literally – stumble across us. Oops!
But some outdoor sex is pretty much perfect. A lake (so long as the swans are over there, as opposed to sticking their beaks in places they shouldn’t be), a light breeze, lunch, partner, and me. The worst thing I could say about that day was a minor case of sunburn – which is a good reminder that shade is an important thing to take into consideration, as is sunblock in pale places!
On my recent trip to Melbourne to see my beloved, there was a lot of sex going on both indoors and out – we had difficulty keeping our hands off each other, and that suited us just fine! So when we took a car trip through the Yarra Valley into rural areas of Victoria, there was a strong desire to find somewhere to fuck. This was not as easy to find as we thought it would be – every intriguing-looking side road turned out to have houses on it, or farmland being farmed, or, in one case, a horse that looked on curiously as we said “Whatever” and stopped for a passionate make-out session that was not sex but very close.
Eventually though, the right spot found us – a nominally main highway known as the C507 but that was only gravel, with amazing forest surrounding us and no cars passing at all. The view was glorious, the sun was shining, and the world was ours. So naturally we pulled the car off to the side, stripped gloriously bare, took lots of photographs, and then threw ourselves into delightful, delectable, natural, and fucking awesome sex.
No, we didn’t get sunburnt. Yes, we did eventually end up fucking in the car (it was more comfortable after all), but with half the doors open. No, not a single person drove past or stumbled across us or was horrified. It was hot and sweaty and messy and perfect.
And it was certainly not the only time we got it on outdoors while I was over there … but even I don’t share every little detail. Some things you’ll have to imagine for yourself!