Top 10 Sex Toy Paddles

I rather like paddles. Some that I own are heavy thuddy bastards, and some are stingy light bastards. Some look and feel like they’ll deliver a thud (like that gorgeous wooden one above made by The Gunner’s Daughter) but sting incredibly instead. I’ve found that’s one of the downsides of paddles: no matter what I think they’re going to deliver when I get them, I never know for sure until someone’s whacked my bum with it.

The rubber one above I thought would be a little stingy. Turns out that it’s like being smacked with a handful of bees, as all those bits make contact – which appeals to m’Lady, but not to me so much! It doesn’t take much before I’m tapping out with my intermediary safeword and begging for anything else to be used on my rump instead.


I have rather a lot of paddles made from a variety of materials: wood, plastic, rubber and more. Many of them are pervertables, as you can see above. Your basic $2 rice spoon is a particular favourite (m’Lady is a particular fan of the heart-shaped ones, which were a gift from Kiana), but there’s also wooden spoons, table tennis bats, and of course a few rulers!

I find it interesting that while I have a number of paddles, they’re not used very often. Most of the heavier impact items I own are frequently used for bastinado, and generally paddles are too wide or too stingy for my feet. So they’re saved for my rump, and m’Lady’s pleasure.

So yes: paddles. I like them and I dislike them. Generally speaking they make me wriggle and yelp, but don’t mark me very much. But I always make sure they’re packed when I go to Melbourne!

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